The Last Time Anyone Would Ever Prank Lily Evans
by dreamgirl1321
Summary: They thought it was a good idea at the time. Pranking Lily Evans. Boy, were they wrong. Oneshot. Rated for some language. Lily/James


Disclaimer: I have yet to be a famous and rich author that goes by the name J.K. Rowling but as soon as I am I will let you know

Lily Evans felt like killing Potter. Once again, she had fallen victim to one of his pranks. Not that it was anything new; she certainly was used to it. However, having all of her and her roommates lingerie hung up all around the school like portraits was just mean. And embarrassing. Especially since all of it had the names of whom it belonged to posted above each piece. What made matters worse was that only the owner could take it down. And the school was fairly large. It was still a week later and some stuff had yet to be found and taken down. Lily had been extremely mortified when, upon entering the Transfiguration classroom had been asked if the lacy, black bra that had been hung where no one could possibly miss it, was indeed hers and if it was, would she please be kind enough to remove it.

Of course that hadn't been as bad as it could have been. It could have been one of her other, more embarrassing and definitely not sexy pieces, like the flowered underwear that had been hung up, thankfully, beside the Gryffindor portrait where mainly the Gryffindors would see it instead of the entire school. Or it could have been as bad as what happened to Ryan Houde, one of Lily's roommates, where five of Ryan's tiniest thongs had been charmed to hang in the middle at the center of each table, including the staff table. It had happened to be the day that she was late to breakfast too. Each piece had been charmed to say dirty things anytime someone would touch time, which most students found hilarious and prodded them much through breakfast. Ryan had been rather mortified as she went around to each table to collect her belongings.

She could have been in Julia Berkly's place also. Julia had always been a tomboy and as a joke gift for her birthday, Ryan had given her a skimpy, leopard print, thong. She had tossed it into the bottom of her trunk, never thinking of it again. Until the marauders of course. They had made a box in the main hallway with her picture over it and the thong on top. The picture had said, 'Tough Quidditch Captain and Beater goes girly. Get your autographed thongs here!' Each thong in the box had her signature on it.

Lily knew whose prank this was immediately. After five years of being around the boys, she knew who the planner of each prank was. Peter Pettigrew tended to go for things bought out of Zonko's and small but easy pranks that wouldn't fail you and didn't require much planning. Remus Lupin's were the most thought out and sophisticated with style. Those pranks didn't come along much but when they did, they didn't hurt anyone and were amusing for everyone. Pranks planned out by Sirius Black, Lily didn't have to worry about as they almost always involved Slytherins in some way and occasionally the other two houses. James Potter went for flair, drama, and humiliation to mainly Lily. This prank screamed James Potter.

Lily decided this time; she would take matters into her own hands. She had never been much a prankster but she knew that if she thought about it, she could get the four sixth year Gryffindor boys back very well. Remus first, then Peter, Black and then Potter. She would give increase the severity of the prank on each person. Really give Potter something to worry about. Smirking, Lily headed up towards her dorm. Of course this would increase the chance of getting caught and the more trouble she would be in if she were to get caught, but this would just have to be the risk she took.

Remus's Prank

Remus Lupin smiled. Today was a good day. He sat down at the table for lunch across from James and Sirius.

"Why the good mood, Moony?" Sirius asked before he got to shoveling food into his mouth.

"No reason," he tried to hide behind the first book he could grab out of his bag.

"Why won't you tell us? What's going on?" Sirius pressed on.

"Nothing Padfoot, drop it."

"Please? Pretty please? With a chocolate frog on top?"

Remus ignored him, not really looking at the words.

"Oh come on. I know you can hear me! No one would actually read the transfiguration book form last year."

Remus sheepishly put the book down. "Is that what it is?"

"So what is this news you are refusing to share with us? Dear Prongs, I do believe he is holding out on us."

"That's nice," James didn't look away from the red head he was staring at.

"You aren't helping out here, Prongs. Take your eyes off Evans and help me out."

"Hmmm? What am I helping out with?" James turned towards Remus.

"Remus has news he is going to share with us."

"I didn't… I never said…" Remus spluttered.

"So. Who is the chick?"

"No one," he answered. As soon as it left his mouth he felt like banging his head against the table.

"No one is she? Come on. We tell you everything."

"Yeah I know. My poor ears."

"You know he is just going to bug you until you tell him so why don't you get it over with?" Peter sat down next to Remus.

"Ugh. I hate the lot of you. Her name is Marci Iden. She's a fifth year. Ravenclaw."

"And?"

"And what?"

"What is it about her that has got you in such a good mood?"

"We are going out next Hogsmeade weekend. Now if you gits are done being nosy am I allowed to eat?"

"We weren't stopping you before," James shrugged and returned to staring at Lily. "Hey, guys. Have you noticed something's off about Lily? She's acting strange."

The three marauders turned to look at her too. "What is she doing?" Asked Peter.

"I dunno. Nothing really. She just keeps glancing over here a lot. See?"

"Huh," Remus frowned. Lily had indeed just looked over quickly and back and then over again.

"I think she is up to something," Sirius said after a few minutes of the four of them looking at her. "No one glances over here that much."

"She is probably trying to make sure she isn't the victim to another prank. She going to be paranoid for life," Remus chuckled at his friend's weird behavior. He took a sip of his pumpkin juice and felt something tingly.

"Uh, Moony," Sirius said staring at him.

"What?"

"Er, nothing mate. But you might want to take a look in a mirror."

"What do you mean?"

"Let's just say you aren't looking your normal color," James put in, trying hard not to laugh.  
"Do either of you have those mirrors on you?" Remus asked trying not to panic and he felt eyes on him and laughter.

"Yeah," Sirius pulled out his mirror from his bag. "Uh here you go," He looked like he was trying equally as hard if not more to keep from laughing.

Remus stared at his reflection. His sandy hair had been turned an electric blue. His left side was a hot pink, the right side a lime green. His robes were neon orange.

"Moony, you glow!" Peter announced, not trying a bit to hide his laughter. That did it for James and Sirius who burst into fits of laughter.

Remus quickly looked over to where Lily Evans was and saw her give a tiny, satisfied and almost evil smirk.

Peter's Prank 

It was the day after Remus had been turned neon. He had found that no matter how hard he tried the charm wouldn't wear off. All of his clothes were changed neon orange too. Peter had to admit he found the situation hilarious. The constant scrubbing and cussing from his friend was too much to bear and every time he happened to glance towards his werewolf friend, he couldn't help but to laugh. He had gotten up late that morning and had just made it down to breakfast with seven minutes to spare.

"Hey, guys," he sat down next to his neon colored friend.

"Hey, Wormtail," James said, averting his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at Remus. He also couldn't himself either and would also burst out into more laughter, especially at the murderous look on Remus's face that seemed to have been permanently attached since the morning before.

"What took you so long?" Sirius asked between bites of bacon.

"Went back to sleep. You wanna pass me some of that bacon? I'm starving," Peter said, his stomach growled.

"Mhmmm," he handed him the plate.

"So, Lily Evans is looking at us strangely again," James said. Remus, Sirius, and Peter all looked up.

"Probably because we have Remus here glowing like a wand. Pretty much everyone is looking at us," Sirius pointed out.

The three looked down the table at her. She kept glancing up nervously then pretended to be glancing around when she saw them staring at her.

Peter reached for his pumpkin juice and started to drink.

"No, Wormtail! Don't!" Remus shouted, things clicking together.

"What was that for, Moony?" Peter asked as he felt a tingling sensation. Weird.

"Did you get a tingly feeling?"

Peter sneezed. "Yeah?"

"I think that Lily Evans is pranking us. That's how she got me yesterday. Through my drink."

"That would explain a lot," Sirius mused.

Peter sneezed again.

"Like Lily would ever do something like that," James scoffed.

"Besides, Peter isn't neon yet. You turned neon right after you took a drink."

Peter sneezed once again.

"Do you have allergies?" Remus asked turning towards his friend.

"No, I don't think so anyways," Peter frowned trying to think. Did he?

"Hmmm. Let's go. We can stop by the Charms classroom about this and then head on to Potions."

Peter farted. Then burped.

"Disgusting, Wormtail." James looked at him.

"I think I found her prank," Remus said, thoughtfully. "She's charmed him on certain words I'm guessing. We can stop by the…"

Peter farted again.

"So the makes him fart."

Peter farted again.

"This is going to be a long day. Even longer than History of Magic," James moaned.

Peter hiccupped.

"I wonder what words she has charmed him on?" Remus mused. "This might be fun trying to figure out. Just try not say the, please."

Again Peter farted. This was going to be embarrassing. He glanced over at Lily Evans, she gave a satisfied smile and looked down at her plate.

Sirius's Prank

The next day, Wednesday, Sirius woke up early. It was either him or James next and he really didn't want to know what exactly Lily had planned for them. They had decided to not drink anything. From what it showed, the pranks seemed to be getting a little worse each time. When they walked down to breakfast, they kept an eye out for Lily Evans and sat at a different place than they normally sat. And just to be careful, they didn't drink anything. However, Lily didn't even give them a glance that morning.

"Is that it? Maybe she just wanted to you two. Maybe she thought Prongs and I were too hard to prank," Sirius though, was doubtful. Apparently so was Remus.

"I doubt it. I bet she is getting us back for the underwear prank. She and her roommates seemed pretty pissed. They have gotten crap all week. She is probably gonna let you sweat it out, knowing Lily and I'm betting you James is the last and the worst."

"Why me?!" James looked horrified.

"Don't worry mate, these have all been amateur pranks. So maybe they will keep being amateur pranks."

"Again, I doubt it," Remus said. "She will be saving the best for last."

The whole day, if someone were to ask if Sirius's behavior was normal, they would have said, he is normally not so jumpy. He made sure to completely avoid Lily Evans, walking into class as soon as he knew a teacher were there and leaving before she did. He didn't fall asleep once and made sure he had Lily Evans in his sight at all times. Both Peter and Remus were still cursed.

By the end of the evening, he was no longer worried. The demon witch hadn't looked at him all day except to yell at him for his behavior. Maybe she was taking a day off or it hadn't been her. Sirius would much rather it was the latter. She could be downright nasty and having the reputation as a pretty smart witch and creative, he was sure that she could think of some pretty vicious things to pull over on him.

He and James had gone down to the quidditch pitch early to play some one on one before their practice. Julia Berkly, the captain was already there. Lily Evans was watching.

"What do think she is up to mate?" Sirius whispered, looking at the red headed girl.

"No idea but she wouldn't try anything up here. Julia is one of her best friends and she would kick her ass if she jeopardizes the game on Saturday," James whispered back as the two friends mounted their broomsticks.

After three hours of practice, Julia finally called it. "Nice practice everyone. Now remember, do not do anything stupid. We want to be able to play our best against Slytherin on Saturday. See you tomorrow."

Sirius and James landed. James got off his broomstick. "You going to sit on it all day?" James laughed.

"I think I got Lily's revenge," Sirius whispered.

"What do you mean?" James looked at his friend, worried.

"I can't get off."

"What?"

"I'm stuff to the broomstick."

"No way!" James started to roar with laughed.

"Stop being such a git and help me get it off." Sirius tugged on the broom. "See? You grab the end and try to pull it off."

James went around to the back and started to pull, Sirius going with him. "It looks like you are humping the stick!"

"Shut up! And keep pulling!"

"I am! Here I'll try grabbing on closer!"

"That's my arse, James!"

"Sorry it won't come off!"

"Keep pulling!"

"Go over towards the rock," James said, getting an idea.

Sirius waddled over, the broomstick still stuck between his legs.

"Okay, I will stand here behind the rock and put my feet under it. You walk forward."

James planted his feet and Sirius started to walk. James fell over on his face.

"It's still there!" Sirius shouted.

"I see that!"

"Try something else!"

James went to the side of Sirius and put a hand on either side of the stick and pulled down.

"OW!!!" Sirius screamed.

"It's still there!" James yelled!

"What the bloody hell are you two doing?" Remus and Peter came over to them.

"It's stuck! The stick is stuck to my dick!" Sirius screamed.

"What?" Peter farted and looked at him.

"Moony and Wormtail, you two go to the back of the stick and pull it towards you, I will push it from the front," James commanded. "Go!"

"AHHH! James! You groped me! You groped me!"

"What is going on here?" McGonagall came around the corner looking at the four boys.

"It's stuck," Remus said, trying and failing to not laugh.

"What's stuck Mr. Lupin?"

"The broomstick, woman! What does it look like?!" Sirius shouted.

"Mr. Black. Kindly do not refer to me as woman. Follow me."

Sirius, fuming, waddled after McGonagall who sincerely looked like she was also trying to refrain from laughing.

James's Prank

When James woke up that morning he was thoroughly scared. The broomstick was still stuff to Sirius as no one had managed to figure out how to remove it so he waddled like a duck any time he tried to walk. Remus's coloring had yet to fade and Peter was still cursed with the words. The pranks had defiantly progressed and James knew that there was no avoiding that day. Moaning he rolled out of bed and put on his glasses. He got up and walked over to the bathroom, accidently walking into the door in the process. Weird, he thought, normally his glasses improved his eyesight.

He spent a lot of the morning walking into things.

"Jesus, James!" Sirius swore after James had walked into the broomstick sending Sirius tumbling.

"Are you really gonna walk around like that all day?" Peter asked Sirius.

"Of course. No woman is going to make a fool out of me."

"I think she already did," James sniggered.

"Shut up. Your next."

James blinked. The room was suddenly spinning. It was making him dizzy. He stumbled.

"OW! Watch where you are walking!"

James blinked again. The world wasn't spinning anymore.

It continued to go on like that the entire day with James walking into people and seeing images that weren't really there.

"I think she cursed my glasses," James said. "Nothing too bad though."

"Easy for you to say," Sirius gritted his teeth. The broomstick was really starting to hurt.

They got to Transfiguration where Sirius had to straddle the seat to sit down, causing many classmates to snigger.

"I see you three haven't fixed your problems yet," Professor McGonagall stated as she entered her room.

James wasn't really paying attention until about halfway through the class. Suddenly there was a guy standing there with a pole. James had a bad feeling where this was going. The guy started to dance to invisible music. James tried to shut his eyes. But they wouldn't close. He watched horrified as the guy started to strip.

"NO!" He screamed.

"Prongs?" Moony whispered.

"Mr. Potter?" he heard McGonagall's voice. He couldn't see them just this guy.

"Get it out! Get it out! Get it out!"

"What?" Peter's voice came.

The guy was down to his underwear.

"AHH!" He reached for his glasses. He tried tugging them off. They wouldn't move. "They won't come off!" He stood up trying to yank them off. "Sirius, help! It's burning! My eyes!"

"Okay!"

"Sirius! Your stick is on my dick!" The class erupted with laughter.

"It's not my fault!"

"Hurry! He starting to remove them! AGH! I can't close my eyes! They are stuck!"

"Peter you hold James from behind, I will try to remove the glasses!" He heard Remus's voice.

"Now!" James lurched forward crashing into Remus, Peter on top of him. "My eyes!" He pushed Peter off and got up. "My eyes! I don't wanna know this! Merlin, I promise I will never ever look at Sirius's picture of naked women again, just get it out!"

"James! Why did you tell them about my pictures?!" Sirius voice came.

"I won't even look at the ones that move! OH! I'm scarred! Scarred for life!"

"Potter! Come here! Now!"

"I can't see you, Professor!" He tried walking and ran into a desk. "Potter! Black! Pettigrew! Lupin! Sit down! Now! 30 points from Gryffindor! And detention for a week for disrupting my class."

At that moment, James's glasses cleared, he walked over to his desk, but the glasses showed the seat farther away and he ended up tripping over it. He quickly got up and sat down the seat.

The final prank

For the rest of the week, the four boys remained cursed. They managed to win the game against Slytherin with not much help from James who miscalculated every time but a win was a win. Remus was no longer cursed the next Monday, Peter's curse lifted Tuesday, on Wednesday the broom finally became unstuck for Sirius and on Thursday, James finally stopped seeing images. Friday, the day after James's curse was lifted; they walked down to the Great Hall for supper. Floating at the center of each table was a piece of underwear with a name above each. Above the Gryffindor table was a pair of purple boxers with 'Mama's Boy' printed in gold shimmering letters on the butt, above floated James Potter. Above the Hufflepuff table was a pair of pink briefs the name above was Peter Pettigrew. Above the Ravenclaw table was a pair boxers with fire breathing dragon and words to far to make out, the name about this one was Remus Lupin. And above the Slytherin table floated a pair of black silk boxers that had 'got lucky?' on the back in lime green letters and moving pictures of very under-dressed girls and lipstick prints. The name above that? Sirius Black.

The four boys knew what to do and walked, all bright red to claim what was theirs. Sirius winked at a girl as he walked to get his, completely unfazed by this, or at least acting like he was. Peter, Remus, and James however, were all bright red. As they sat down they turned to look at the staff table. A picture floated there in the middle. The four boys filled with dread as they slowly went up to the picture that had all four of their names above it. James picked it up. The picture suddenly filled the entire Great Hall. The four boys together wearing only their underwear, the same ones they had just collected in fact, laughing and turning around to show it off. James forgot what they had been celebrating. It disappeared after a couple of minutes, leaving the entire room filled with laughter. Even the professors at the staff table looked like they were trying not to laugh at the silly picture.

The four boys, all of which were by this time, bright red, made their way back to their seats. James flipped over the picture. It read id silver lettering, 'The past two weeks have been brought by Yours truly,' and in the middle of a lily were the initials L.E. Needless to say, this was the last time the marauders dared to prank Lily Evans and her dorm mates again.

AN: So what did you think? Just some random thought popped into my head when I was trying to think of good pranks.


End file.
